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- Six moms say they spend $500 to $2,600 a month to create their paid village.
- Childcare is the most substantial cost, while many also hire cleaners.
- They say paying for help is a necessity when both parents work.
Amy Johnson, a mom of two in Cleveland, can count on both her mother and mother-in-law to help with the kids and with domestic chores every month. Despite having that unpaid support, Johnson and her husband pay $2,600 a month for childcare and cleaning — the sort of paid village that Johnson says is essential when both parents are working.
“Life is currently a juggle between time and money,” said Johnson, whose kids are 2 and 3. Johnson and her husband both work full-time, and Johnson also runs a website, Amy Baby.
“I feel if we don’t use the time wisely to create more revenue streams, we’re just going to sink,” she told BI.
Parents around the country are struggling to pay for childcare costs—which are often higher than a mortgage or rent. In 2022 (the most recent year for which data is available), average childcare costs ranged between $5,000 to $17,000 for one child, according to the Department of Labor. In a BabyCenter poll of 2,000 mothers, 76% of respondents said that paying for childcare strains their budget.
In addition to childcare, many families find they need to pay for other domestic services, like transportation for their kids, grocery pickup, or cleaning—essentials that parents say they simply don’t have time for while juggling their careers.
That leaves families like Johnson’s “trying our best to keep our heads above water,” she said.
It’s a familiar refrain for many parents around the country. Here’s what five other parents are paying to create the village they need to survive.
A mom of 3 in rural North Dakota: $1,300+ a month
Katie Nostrum relies on unpaid childcare from her three kids, who are 9, 2, and 6 months old. When the kids aren’t in school or at day care, Nostrum’s grandparents watch them as Nostrum works as a postmaster and her partner works in a welding shop.
Day care for the two younger kids costs $650 every two weeks, or over $1,300 a month. Nostrum’s town is very rural — about 45 minutes away from the nearest store. Like many rural Americans, she has limited options for childcare and other support.
“There are not a lot of options to create a village, no after or before school programs, etc,” she said.
A Texas mom of 3: $1,090 a month
Jessica Lemmons lives in Bryan, Texas, with her husband and three kids, ages 10, 5, and 2. She pays about $1,090 a month for childcare, which includes day care tuition for her youngest and occasional babysitting for all three.
The costs would be a lot higher if Lemmons couldn’t count on unpaid help from friends and bartering the skills of her husband, who is a chef.
“I am very fortunate in that I have close friends here who are childless by choice, who genuinely love spending time with my kids,” she said. “I do make sure I have the capacity to feed them tasty meals whenever they’re doing so.”
Mom of 1, outside Chicago: $2,000+ a month
L’Oreal Thompson Payton, a freelance writer who lives outside Chicago, pays $497 each week to send her 3-year-old to preschool. On rare occasions, she uses a babysitter. She and her husband also pay $25 an hour for a cleaner and hire one occasionally if they have guests coming to stay.
While she pays for some of her village, Thompson Payton also cultivates unpaid support by connecting with day care parents and neighbors who also have young children. While the costs are high, Thompson Payton said the benefits are well worth the money.
“I think there’s a lot of unnecessary guilt and shame that can come up with having a ‘paid’ village,'” she said. “As much as I love being a mom, it’s important for me, my sanity, and our marriage that I have an identity outside that, which would simply not be possible if we didn’t have paid support.”
Mom of 2 in Tennessee: $520 a month
Miriam Udy was paying $1,600 a month for childcare in the San Francisco Bay Area when she got pregnant with her second. She and her husband relocated to Knoxville, Tennessee, in part because they couldn’t afford to pay more than $3,000 a month in childcare costs.
After moving, she paid $520 a month for care for her daughter. Her son qualified for free preschool because he has special needs. Now that both kids are in school, Udy is looking for a helper to get the kids off the bus, do homework with them, and drive them to activities. She also budgets for summer camp costs, which exceeded $4,000 last year.
A mom of 2 in New York: $500 a month
Aghogho Oluese quit her job when she got pregnant with her second.
“The cost of childcare was so high that I would’ve only netted $500 a month if I had stayed in my former job,” she said.
Since then, she’s launched Baby-Led Weaning For Busy Moms. She provides the bulk of childcare for her two children but still pays to build her village. Her older child goes to aftercare which is $15 an hour, and the family has a weekly cleaner at $30 an hour. Occasionally, Oluese pays a babysitter $30 an hour to watch both kids. Overall, she spends about $500 a month on paid help.
“I wouldn’t be able to do all that I do during the day without it,” she said.
